i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
