oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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