it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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