he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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