hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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