I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
