Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
they need to just BURY HIM!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
