Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
