did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
