If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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