meet me or not, i'm out of control
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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