NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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