dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize