What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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