you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
