I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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