Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
