i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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