And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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