So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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