We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My life is pants optional.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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