I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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