loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize