he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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