He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Is Oprah even human
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
