i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
