can we get nightvision for the apartment?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
