I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
