The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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