dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
