BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
