I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
