So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
