i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize