I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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