im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
