so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
