Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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