i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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