Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
