I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
