On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize