So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
There's even glitter on my cock...
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