It's like God shit irony all over that family
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
