Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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