You're so nebulous sometimes
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
