ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
