I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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