So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
