What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
