Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
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