i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
