i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
