i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
