he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
