Do vagina's smell?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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