no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
pray to the hookup gods
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
